Friday, November 22, 2019

Would you remain faithful to an infertile or sterile spouse?

Infertility or the inability to conceive is often cited in divorce cases as the sole reason or one of  the reasons why a union has to end. In Africa where a man has to have children who would bear his name when he eventually passes on, infertility can result in divorce. Having only female children may result in divorce too because the average African man needs a male child to bear his name.

In Nigeria and other parts of Africa where infertility is grounds for divorce, some families won't let their male child get married to a woman until she takes in. This is done to ascertain the fertility of a prospective wife.

Other couples, especially those from a strong religious backgrounds where premarital sex is frowned upon, only run fertility tests to determine if they'll be able to conceive and once they get the greenlight, marriage preparations begin.

There are times when a fertility test is done, the result will be positive, but after marriage,the couple won't be able to bear children. Situations like these abound and in most cases I have seen, it has led to the split of the marriage.

I recently watched Emmanuel TV where a man from Plateau state, Nigeria, gave a miraculous testimony about how God healed him from infertility and he wife was able to conceive. According to him, their visits to different fertility clinics in Nigeria and different countries in Africa for solutions were abortive and when they finally resorted to do an artificial insemination, it was discovered that the man had no sperm cells. Having dead cells is better than having no cells at all because dead cells can be revived but having no cells is a hopeless case that medical science cannot remedy.

For those who might not know, artificial insemination is the process where semen is taken from the man and is used to artificially fertilized a woman's eggs and then the fertilized egg is inserted into the woman so it can grow. This is what the couple resorted to but the unfortunate discovery that the man had no cells at all put paid to their plans. When they exhausted all possibilities to no avail, they decided to visit Prophet T.B Joshua's church, the Synagogue Church of All Nations.

The man had been previously married but his first wife left him because he was not able to get her pregnant. She got married to another man and they had children.

Prior to his testimony, I had never heard that a woman left her husband because he couldn't get her pregnant. It was always the other way round: the man leaves the woman or the woman gets thrown out of the house. This is what usually obtains in different parts of Africa. Attitudes are changing but the woman is still apportioned blames for her inability to conceive even if it's the man's fault. The woman is also wrongly assumed to be responsible for determining the sex of a baby when it's actually the man who has the X and Y-chromosomes that determine the sex of the baby, depending on which one fertilizes the female egg, which is always an X-chromosome. A lot of Nigerians are oblivious of this fact and consequently, a lot of women get thrown out of their matrimonial homes because of their inability to bear male children for their husbands.

After they were prayed for, the man miraculously received his healing and his wife conceived that same month. Before this, the woman had resisted advice from friends and relatives to desert her husband and find another man who would get her pregnant. She remained faithful, stood her ground and stuck with her husband.

Watching the man testify how the wife stayed true to him made me realize that true love exists and that when someone loves you, they will will stick with you through thick and thin and weather the storms of life with you.

Can you stay true to a spouse who is infertile or sterile?

By Darius Aminu

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