Skip to main content

Someone Took a Shit Behind my Window

 I heard a weird noise behind my window last night,but I couldn't summon the courage to go out and check what was making the noise.  I was scared to death. I thought witches were having a meeting or something, and I didn't want to intrude and have them use me as the meat for their stew. 




It never crossed my mind that whatever was making creepy noises behind my window was a human eager to take a shit.


I just woke up this morning and discovered a pile of shit behind my window. Whoever dropped that gigantic shit must have gone a week without emptying his bowels. 

I am suspecting the landlord's 8-year old grand son. He has been looking guilty all day. Whenever our gaze meet, he'd avert his. It's unlike him. I can't report him to his granny because I don't have proof and he, most certainly, would deny. 


How do I solve this crime? Could it be that after the witches were done with their meeting, one of them decided to take a shit?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Slept Naked Last Night

Climate change is undeniably real, so I wonder why some people still doubt it. Jos, Plateau state, used to be one of the coldest parts of Nigeria, but it can now rival Sokoto or Adamawa in terms of heat. The heat we have experienced these last couple of days is something else. I had to literally sleep naked last night: thank God I stay alone. A steady supply of electricity has been a blessing to us. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to sleep at night in this weather without putting on the air conditioner or fan. It's really sad that Africa isn't responsible for global warming but she is paying a price for it. The richest countries of the world need to put heads together and remedy this problem they created. 

What Makes Me Fall Out of Love

 I can fall in love easily and fall out of love quite easily. Does it sound weird? Well, I guess we are wired differently. Here are some of the reasons why I fall out of love. These reasons may be flimsy to you, but they were enough to make me back out of a relationship. 1. Saliva at the side of the mouth and bad breath - Cynthia ( not her real name) was everything I needed in a woman and more, but there were certain things about her that made me feel irritated whenever we were together. Whenever she spoke, saliva would drool around the sides of her mouth. I found it really nauseating. I would have managed her like that, but her bad breath was something else. I had to run for dear life. My only regret is the way I broke up with her. I should have been more diplomatic. 2. Dull - ever since I read that children inherit their intelligence from their mothers, I have been really obsessed with dating intelligent women. I can't afford to marry a dull woman and have dull children. That wou